Last Updated on January 10, 2023 by Sarah Smith
10 things to learn while dating a porn star
We’ve all been there. You’re dating someone who’s in a profession that involves performing sex acts on camera. Sometimes they’re amateurs, sometimes they’re professionals, but either way—this person is going to be your partner for life! And while it’s true that most porn performers date other people too, it’s also true that these relationships are very different from yours.
So how do you know if your relationship with your porn star is going anywhere? What kind of questions should you ask about their past or future? And what about the fact that no one wants to be in porn forever? Let me tell you: It’s not easy being a porn star (or even just dating one). But if you want to learn more about them, we can both have fun with this new adventure together!
1. They are not as confident as you think they are.
You might think that your partner is more confident than you are, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. The fact of the matter is that even though porn stars may seem like they’re always in control and don’t have any insecurities, they’re just like you and me—they have insecurities too!
Sometimes a porn star will want to take things slow because they’re nervous about how things will play out or if it’s going to work out long term (and maybe even short term). Other times, they’ll need an escape route from their problems so that they don’t get too attached to someone who doesn’t share their values as much as he should do (or vice versa). Either way, nobody’s perfect!
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2. They’re just like you and me.
Once you have been dating a porn star for a while, you’ll realize that they are just as human and vulnerable as anyone else. They have fears and insecurities just like you do, they want to be loved and accepted by their partners just like everyone else does.
So when your partner tells you that they feel uncomfortable with something about your body or something about yourself, don’t dismiss it because it sounds silly or ridiculous—listen carefully! If there is something bothering them about their appearance (such as acne), then this could mean one of two things: either their own insecurity has gotten out of control, or maybe another person has made fun of them over how their face looks.
Either way, if this issue keeps happening over time despite attempts at a resolution between both parties involved then perhaps it’s best not to pursue any more discussion until further notice due to complications arising from continued contact between both parties involved!
3. You can’t see your partner’s sexual past or future in their eyes, so don’t even try.
If you’re dating a porn star, this is something you should know: it’s impossible to see your partner’s sexual past or future in their eyes. It’s not because they’re hiding anything from you; it’s just that they don’t have one!
This might sound weird at first, but hear me out: if someone has experienced something traumatic (like seeing their family get killed), then there will always be some part of them that remembers the trauma and feels anxious about going through it again. With the right support system around them—and especially with help from their own therapist—these people can learn how to cope with these feelings better than before.
So when someone asks “why did I do x?”, what does he/she mean? And how can I help him/her?
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4. Sex isn’t always the way it looks on camera.
You may have seen all the porn you want, but you won’t know what sex is really like until it happens. That’s why it’s important for men (and women) to learn about the real world of sex before they start dating a porn star:
- Sex isn’t always the way it looks on camera.
- Sex isn’t always the way it looks in real life.
- Sex isn’t always the way you think it would be if someone told you that they’re going to have sex with them right now!
5. No one wants to be there forever, including the performer.
You might be excited to learn that your partner is a porn star, but it’s important to remember that no one wants to be there forever. Even the performers want out, and they’re not just saying this because they’re trying to get ahead in their careers—it’s also true! They want something different than what they have now and don’t want things getting stale.
If you want the same thing as your partner (and let’s face it: most people do), then you’ll probably end up hating each other by the time your relationship ends. As much as we love our jobs and think we’d never give them up for anything else in life, at some point everyone has an itch or desire for something new.
Porn stars experience this all too often when they have children; even if someone doesn’t leave their industry entirely (like Jenna Jameson did), there are many different ways for them to continue working but still find the balance between their passion for sex scenes versus family life.
A lot of porn stars struggle with this, and it’s not easy. Some people can’t bear to be away from their children for long periods of time, while others feel that they’re missing out on their own lives by spending too much time at home with the kids.
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6. Defending their job is exhausting and a waste of energy in adult film performers’ personal lives.
If you’re dating a porn star, it’s important to remember that they are human beings with real lives and feelings. They don’t want to defend their profession when you ask them about it. It’s exhausting for the performer, and can even be damaging in terms of their mental health.
Don’t defend their job! It’s not necessary because most people aren’t going to judge them based on what they do for a living (unless they’re being rude). Even if someone does question whether or not this is an appropriate relationship option for your partner—and let’s face it: sometimes people will look down on things like this—they should just move along with their lives instead of wasting energy trying to fight back against those who disagree with them.
7. Porn star couples don’t like to view each other’s scenes together.
The biggest thing to know about dating a porn star is that they don’t like to see each other’s scenes together. It’s not that they disapprove of your partner working in the industry; it’s more of an issue with them as people and their personal lives.
In fact, some couples have even gone so far as to request that all nude photos be destroyed before they meet up with their significant others (though I’m sure there are more creative ways than that).
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8. They make tons of money, you don’t have to feel bad about it, and definitely shouldn’t try to take advantage of them financially because you like them so much!
You’re not going to be able to take advantage of them financially because you like them so much.
In an effort to protect myself from feeling guilty about my own finances, I decided it was best not to ask questions about the size of their bank accounts or how much they make per scene.
But when it comes down to it, porn stars are more likely than the average person to have more money than they know what to do with—and while this might seem like a good reason not to spend time with someone who can afford some nice things, think again: if you want them in your life (and ideally also as a friend) then there are plenty of other ways besides spending large sums on things that would make both parties happy!
9. Their relationships with their families are complicated, so don’t ask too many questions about them; they will tell you when they’re ready to talk about it.
If you want to get to know your partner better, you should ask them about their family. They will likely be happy to share with you as much as they want. However, it’s important not to pry unnecessarily or make unwanted comments about the relationship between them and their parents or siblings.
Porn stars are human beings who deserve respect and privacy at all times—especially when discussing relationships with the people closest in their lives!
10. You might not know everything they’re up to or where they are at all times, but they will tell if it comes up or matters at all in the moment—or later that night if they’re home in bed with you!
There’s one other thing that happens when you date a porn star: You may get a lot of attention from friends and family members who want to know what your new girlfriend does for a living. It’s not uncommon for people who don’t understand why someone would want to spend their weekends watching other people have sex on camera (okay, maybe I’ve been there too). But whatever her profession, she probably understands how hard it can be sometimes just trying to make ends meet; so don’t feel bad about asking questions about what kind of work goes into making an adult film production happen every single day.
These are things we learned while dating porn stars that apply to all types of relationships.
- They’re not as confident as you think they are.
- They’re just like us, only with more experience and money under their belts.
- You can’t see your partner’s sexual past or future in their eyes, so don’t even try to guess at it; figure it out by asking questions and listening carefully to what they say, instead of making assumptions based on what you think might be going on behind closed doors (or not).
- Sex isn’t always the way it looks on camera—and usually isn’t how we want it either!
Conclusion
We hope this list has been helpful to you and your relationship. If you’re still having trouble with dating a porn star, try re-evaluating what it means to trust someone and make sure you’re prioritizing their feelings above your own. Trusting them means letting them have their own way; giving in on every single point of disagreement.
Trusting them also means knowing that they’ll be there when things go wrong in life; that they’ll do everything possible to make sure you succeed even if it means sacrificing themselves completely for those who need it most—and sometimes even if it means making some tough decisions about how far they want to push themselves before quitting altogether!
