Last Updated on December 13, 2022 by Sarah Smith
15 tactics on how to turn the tables on a gaslighter.
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that happens when someone manipulates your sense of reality and truth, making you question yourself and your perceptions. Gaslighting can be extremely difficult to spot, even if you know what it looks like. However, there are many things you can do to protect yourself from this type of manipulation. In this article, we’ll go over some common tactics used by gaslighters so that you can recognize them in yourself or others around you.
Don’t get caught up in gaslighting.
The best way to avoid getting caught up in the gaslighter’s drama is to keep your own mind clear. If you’re struggling with this, try thinking about something else—anything else—for a few minutes at a time. It may seem boring or pointless, but it will help you stay focused on what’s important: You!
If you can’t help but get caught up in their lies and excuses, then don’t try talking back at them; just walk away from them and focus on yourself until they stop trying to talk over you (which happens when they realize how much power they have over others).
That way, when they do come back around for another round of verbal abuse about how everyone else but themselves deserves better treatment than anyone else gets (and why does everyone else deserve some sort of special treatment anyway? What kind of person thinks that way?), there won’t be any room left for conversation between two parties who want nothing more than peace from each other.
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Accept that you’re being gaslit and decide to stop it.
You are being gaslighted.
There is no doubt about it, and you should accept that reality. Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that involves manipulating someone’s perception of reality in order to make them question their own sanity and autonomy as well as drive them into a state of panic and distress. It’s not just limited to parents who are trying to control their children—anyone can be gaslit by another person or group if they feel like they’re not getting what they deserve from others (or themselves).
So how do you stop being gaslit? The first step is admitting that you are indeed being gaslighted! If this seems difficult for some reason, take comfort in knowing that there are plenty of resources out there that can help guide us through these tricky waters together: friends and family members who know us well enough; professionals who specialize in trauma recovery such as therapists or psychiatrists;
even books on self-help techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) which teaches ways people can regain control over their thoughts so they don’t get caught up in harmful patterns during tough times.
Learn more about gaslighting and the tactics a gaslighter uses.
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that can happen to anyone, regardless of their relationship status. It’s about making the victim feel like they’re the one with mental health issues and not the perpetrator.
Gaslighting is not just about manipulating someone into thinking something negative about themselves; it’s also about manipulating them into believing that they have no idea what they’re talking about when it comes time to actually set boundaries and assert themselves as an equal partner in their relationship. If you’re experiencing gaslighting tactics but don’t know what they are, take some time to learn more about this common form of emotional abuse so that you can protect yourself from its harmful effects on your well-being.
Remember what actually happened.
Remembering what actually happened is the first step in stopping gaslighting. It’s important to remember because it helps you understand your own perspective and how you’ve been treated by a gaslighter, as well as what was said and what was meant.
If you find yourself stuck in this cycle of being mistreated by someone else (or yourself), try asking yourself: “What did I actually say?” or “What did I mean when I said that?”
To help yourself remember these things, write down all of your conversations with the other person so that there are no gaps between them. This will also help jog your memory so that when he/she inevitably tells another lie about something they said during one of those conversations—you’ll have an actual record of their lies!
Don’t let their words get to you.
There are a few things to keep in mind when dealing with a gaslighter:
- Don’t let them manipulate you into feeling guilty or ashamed for something that wasn’t your fault (for example, if they accuse you of being insensitive or rude). If they do this, just say “I understand why that might be upsetting for both of us but I don’t think it was me who did anything wrong. How can we fix this?” They may try to guilt-trip you into taking responsibility for the situation but don’t let them get away with it!
- If they say something that implies blame on your part (for example “You always…”), respond by saying “I’m sorry if I made anyone uncomfortable.” Then change the subject quickly before they can respond back with another accusation like “But…”
Think twice before communicating with the gaslighter.
When you have the urge to respond to their texts or calls, resist. It’s important not only for your own sanity but also for theirs that you let them know that they can’t get away with this anymore.
Don’t engage in conversations with them either; just say no and walk away. You might feel guilty about this at first because it feels like giving up on someone who needs help, but trust me: if they want to talk all day long about how much better off they would be if only they had done things differently, then let them speak freely without interruption until the conversation gets boring or tiresome (and then end it).
If possible, try not answering their questions at all unless necessary—this gives them less power over your response than having one answer after another being prompted by some internal thought process within yourself. Once again though: don’t let this happen too often because if left unchecked by breaking off contact completely then eventually these conversations will become habit-forming which could lead into something worse than what happened before!
Document all instances of gaslighting.
Documenting your experiences is a great way to remember what happened and keep track of the timeline. You can keep a journal, write down dates and times, or take screenshots of texts or phone conversations. If you don’t have access to these materials at the time of the gaslighting incident, it’s still important that you document who was involved in each conversation (and when) as well as any other relevant information like names or phone numbers if possible.
It’s also important not just to document instances where your partner has been gaslighting you—it’s also important to document all instances when they’ve been doing something nice for you! This will help show how often these acts occur so that eventually those small acts become bigger ones instead of being an isolated event from time to time until suddenly everything becomes abusive again…
Turn their tactics against them.
If you’re the victim of a gaslighter, turn their tactics against them.
If your partner is using the “I’m right” defense and you disagree with something they said, challenge their logic. If they say something that doesn’t make sense or is completely false, point out how it doesn’t actually match reality in any way shape or form—and then ask them if they’d like to change their story so that it does fit reality. This can be very effective because it forces them to confront their own position and defend themselves rather than just deflecting criticism back onto you.
In addition, if someone has been trying hard not to acknowledge any faults on your part (or anyone else’s), but finds themselves forced into defending themselves anyway due to some minor offense or misunderstanding that seems inconsequential at first glance but could have long-term repercussions later down the line… well now’s probably not the best time for them to start doing what we call “internalizing those feelings.
Limit your exposure to the gaslighter as much as possible.
Don’t engage with them. Don’t let them know how they are affecting you, and don’t give them the opportunity to continue their behavior. If another person wants to get along with us, they will try and do their best at making us feel comfortable around them—but this doesn’t mean we have to participate in their game or let them get away with manipulating us into doing things our way!
When a gaslighter tries to tell someone else what they should think or do, it’s important not only for us but also for everyone involved that we stand up for ourselves by saying “no!”
Ignore name-calling and put-downs.
- Ignore name-calling and put-downs.
- Don’t waste your time trying to argue with them.
- Don’t let their words get to you, but don’t react either—just take a deep breath, think about how silly it is for them to behave this way, and move on without letting the gaslighting affect your own behavior or reaction.
Focus on your own feelings and priorities, not theirs.
You don’t have to feel guilty for not being perfect. You don’t have to feel bad about yourself or your feelings. If someone else is doing something that makes you uncomfortable, then it’s OK for you not to participate in that behavior—even if they think otherwise!
You can also make sure that any feelings of guilt, shame, or low self-esteem aren’t being triggered by this person’s gaslighting tactics.
Don’t let them make you believe they know better than you do what’s best for YOU! Their opinions may be valid in some areas but not others – so focus on how YOU want things done instead of letting their negative thoughts affect how things go down between the two of you
Identify the reasons you allow yourself to be gaslighted.
The first step in working toward overcoming gaslighting is to identify the reasons you allow yourself to be gaslighted.
For example, if your partner has a history of domestic abuse, it may be because he or she doesn’t believe that his/her behavior is harmful or abusive. Or perhaps they think that if he/she doesn’t see the problem with their behavior then no one will notice the flaws in their argument. Perhaps they’re afraid of being alone without someone else around who knows how they feel and can validate those feelings (which might include staying home alone while I’m out). These are all very valid reasons why my partner continues this pattern of abusing me—and I recognize them as such!
Learn to question your assumptions about the world.
- Learn to question your assumptions about the world.
- Don’t take things at face value.
- Don’t assume you know what someone else is thinking, feeling or doing.
- Don’t assume you know what someone else is saying.
Set clear boundaries for how you want to be treated and stick to them.
- Set clear boundaries for how you want to be treated and stick to them.
- Don’t let them cross your boundaries, or use guilt trips or manipulation tactics to get their way.
- Don’t let them control you or make you feel bad about yourself when they do something wrong—the more assertive you are, the less power they’ll have over you.
By learning more about the ways someone can use gaslighting, you are able to recognize it when it happens, set boundaries so that it doesn’t happen again, and even turn the tables on a gaslighter when necessary.
As you begin to understand the ways that people can use gaslighting, you will also begin to recognize when it happens. If someone is telling you something that doesn’t seem right but you don’t quite feel comfortable questioning their statement, ask yourself: “Is this how I would feel if it were happening to me?”
When someone begins gaslighting your behavior and words, in particular, they may try to make it sound like they are doing something kind by saying things like “I’m just trying to help.” However, there’s no need for guilt or shame when a friend wants nothing more than for us not to harm ourselves through substance abuse or poor mental health choices.
When we find ourselves caught up in an unhealthy situation with our loved ones—whether that means staying at home while they go out every night instead of going out themselves or spending time with friends who drink too much alcohol—it’s important not only for ourselves but also those around us who care about our well-being not let go of what might otherwise be perceived as selfishness based on fear alone (which is often caused by Gaslighter tactics). There’s never any reason why good intentions aren’t enough; we shouldn’t allow negative messages from others to get through without question!
Conclusion
As you can see, there are many ways to deal with gaslighting. It’s important not just to avoid being gaslighted in the first place but also to learn how the other person is doing this and then combat it by learning more about the tactics they use so that next time they try something similar (or worse). Remember that everyone has their own style of gaslighting, so if you feel like someone else is using these tactics on you then chances are good that it’s happening right now.
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