Last Updated on April 4, 2023 by Sarah Smith
I sabotaged my relationship and regret it!
I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost three years now. We’re a great match, and we have a lot in common. But something has been happening recently that has me worried: he’s starting to doubt our relationship as we move towards its end game. So, here’s how it went down:
I sabotaged my relationship in a way that was so hurtful and I regret it.
I was afraid of losing him.
I was afraid of being abandoned.
I was afraid of being alone and not having anyone to talk to, so I kept everything inside me until it couldn’t go on anymore, and then I told him how he made me feel, how much he meant to me and how much I loved him. And then he left me for another woman who could give him what I couldn’t give him anymore – a family (and a better one at that)!
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Think they’re going to lose something
You don’t want to be wrong or think you’re going to lose something. You don’t want to be criticized, judged, or feel like a failure. You don’t want anyone else getting the credit for your ideas and accomplishments.
You might say that this sounds selfish, but it’s not: if you’re always trying hard at things because of how important they are to yourself then nobody else will ever get credit for what they do (or even recognize their work). And if everyone is doing everything themselves then there won’t be any way for anyone else’s work to get noticed either!
There seems to be this “snooze” button on my feelings
I’ve been telling my boyfriend how much I love him and how happy I am with him, which is all true, but there seems to be this “snooze” button on my feelings.
I want to tell him that he’s the greatest person in the world and that it’s not just about sex for me anymore. He deserves so much better than what he has gotten from me so far: no commitment, no trustworthiness, and a lot of hurt feelings.
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Anxiety that comes back with a vengeance.
When he told me about his new job, I felt my anxiety come back with a vengeance.
I was so used to being the one who had all the answers and knew how things worked that I couldn’t believe he’d been able to find something better than what we had together. It didn’t matter that he’d been working for three years at the same place; it felt like something bad must have happened in his life (which is not true).
The worst part was that no matter how hard I tried, there wasn’t anything else I could say or do besides sitting back and letting him know how much it hurt me when he told me about this new opportunity—and still doing it anyway because sometimes our relationship isn’t built on communication but rather on misunderstandings and miscommunication which leads us into situations where we might feel insecure about ourselves or others around us.
He might leave me for someone better
One minute, I was happy being in love and being loved. The next minute, I was sad because he might leave me for someone better.
I sabotaged my relationship by cheating on my boyfriend with another man. It didn’t work out as planned and now we’ve separated again—but I’m still going through with the divorce process because I want to be free from him completely!
It’s hard to admit that you’ve done something wrong but sometimes it’s necessary in order to move forward with your life or just get over things quickly (and honestly: fast).
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I chose to (excessively) flirt with other people instead.
instead of acting on my feelings and voicing them out to him, I chose to (excessively) flirt with other people instead.
When you’re dealing with a difficult or complicated romantic relationship, it’s easy to make the wrong choice. In fact, there are usually so many choices that it can feel overwhelming and confusing at times. One of these decisions might be to flirt with other people when your partner has been neglecting you or ignoring you completely.
Flirting isn’t necessarily bad—it’s just another way of getting attention from someone else when none is coming from the person in front of us (and maybe even our own selves).
It can also be used as a tool for avoiding dealing with our own feelings about something we don’t like about ourselves or another person; instead of acting on these feelings and voicing them out loud, we try to get some validation elsewhere instead by being able to say “I did X!” without having actually done anything yet (or even talking about it).
We’d end up fighting about it
And because he’s insecure about everything and feels like he needs to fight for my attention, he’d get jealous and we’d end up fighting about it
When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to get jealous of your partner’s other friends and their attention. You might think that those other people are getting more attention than you, but it never feels fair when someone else is getting special treatment from your partner.
It can be hard for a person who is insecure about relationships or their own self-worth to communicate clearly with another person—especially in an intimate setting where there’s no room for misinterpretation or misunderstanding. And because this person isn’t great at communicating his feelings, they end up feeling upset and angry instead of talking things out with their loved ones.
Luckily, there are many ways that this type of behavior can be avoided so that both parties involved will have a better understanding of what each other needs from them during difficult times like these!
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Always be looking for something that would spark a fight.
From there, every single thing that he did became annoying because I’d always be looking for something that would spark a fight. And when we argued, it was like walking on eggshells—you never knew what was going to set him off. Even when we were together and having a great time, he could turn around and say something completely different at any moment.
It made everything feel so unpredictable and uncomfortable; no matter how much fun or happiness there was between us, our relationship felt like a roller coaster ride because of all the ups and downs we went through together.
It’s easy to blame everything on him but this isn’t his fault at all
I’ve been telling my boyfriend how much I love him and how happy I am with him, which is all true, but there seems to be this “snooze” button on my feelings. It’s not just him or one person that does it; it’s everyone in the relationship.
My husband has told me that he loves me too many times to count, but when things get difficult or stressful (like right now), he’ll tell himself not to say anything because if he says something wrong then we’ll break up! The funny part is that if he were truly in love with me then wouldn’t want us to break up over some small thing. That’s just one example of how things would go differently if they weren’t so afraid of losing out on something by saying something stupidly obvious like: “I’m scared.”
Should I need to go and apologize to the sweetest guy ever?
So yes, if you’ll excuse me now…I need to go and apologize to the sweetest guy ever.
I know that this was a big mistake of mine and I’m sorry for it. You’re an amazing person and deserve better than someone who doesn’t care about you at all. I love you so much that I can’t tell you how much I hurt my heart by doing this! Please don’t leave me because of my being irresponsible towards our relationship; we need each other for sure!
Your own insecurities can cause you to be mean to your partner
Sometimes your own insecurities can cause you to be mean to your partner. You might not know what you’re doing, why you’re doing it, or even realize that it’s happening. You might think that the way things are going right now is bad enough for everyone involved and therefore should be fixed immediately.
But most of the time this isn’t true! In fact, if anything else were going on in the relationship (like financial problems), I would have been able to see how my actions were hurting him/her and change them accordingly instead of pushing him away further.
Conclusion
I hope this helps you understand why some people sabotage their relationships. I know it’s hard to see yourself in this kind of situation, but I hope it will help you recognize when someone might be sabotaging your relationship and how they’re doing it.
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People Also Ask:
How do you fix self-sabotage in a relationship?
There are a few things you can do to help fix self-sabotage in a relationship.
● Recognize that you’re sabotaging your relationship
● Recognize that you’re hurting your partner by doing it
● Recognize that it hurts yourself as well (both emotionally and physically)
Why am I subconsciously sabotaging my relationship?
The single biggest reason why many of us sabotage our relationships is that we are afraid of losing control. We know that if we open ourselves up to someone else, they’ll be able to see into our deepest secrets and weaknesses. They’ll judge us and reject us, breaking the one thing that we hold most dear in this world: our independence. So instead of taking the risk of getting hurt again (and again), we choose self-preservation over love and security.
What does sabotage look like in a relationship?
Sabotage is a form of emotional abuse, and it can be as simple as withholding affection in order to punish someone. It’s also a way to control someone by making them feel bad about themselves.
When your partner starts exhibiting signs that they might be sabotaging the relationship, take note and ask them if they have any thoughts on what could be going on. If so, listen carefully before acting on those thoughts yourself—letting go of these types of behaviors takes time and commitment from both parties involved in the relationship; remember that this isn’t just about getting revenge!
How damaging is sabotaging?
I think it’s important to understand why sabotaging is harmful.
● It’s not healthy. When you’re in a relationship and one of the two people is sabotaging, it means that they don’t trust you or like you enough to be fully honest with each other.
● It’s not fair. If one person wants more honesty from their partner, then they can’t do anything about it until they stop being so self-centered and start respecting their partner’s feelings and needs as well as their own.
● It’s not right! We have a basic human right to have our feelings respected by those around us—especially partners who say they love us! The fact that someone would choose not only to ignore those rights but also actively undermine them says less about his or her character than about his selfishness or inability to recognize them when he sees them in others (or himself).
What causes a person to sabotage?
How do you know if you’re sabotaging?
● You feel anxious and nervous before a conversation.
● You start to second-guess yourself, even though the other person hasn’t said anything yet.
● Your heart starts racing when you see your partner walking toward the door (or wherever).
Is sabotage abuse?
It’s important to note that not all forms of emotional abuse are the same.
● Not all forms of physical or sexual abuse involve sabotaging your partner.
● Not all financial abuses involve sabotaging your partner, especially if you have a joint account and/or access to their bank account.
● Not all spiritual abuses include trying to emotionally manipulate someone into doing things they don’t want to do (like changing their mind about something).
What are the signs of sabotage?
If you’re experiencing any of these signs, it’s time to re-evaluate your relationship.
● Difficulty communicating: One of the most common symptoms of sabotage is an inability to communicate effectively. If you and your partner have been unable to talk about issues in the past, this could be a sign that something is wrong with your communication skills or that there’s some other issue at play here (such as insecurity).
Lack of trust: If one person consistently withholds information from another person, this could be considered a form of sabotage because it prevents them from making informed decisions based on facts alone—instead they must rely on what they feel might be true based on how an individual acts toward them in different situations over time. For example: if someone has been withholding information about their previous romantic relationships during conversations with friends but then suddenly divulges everything when asked by their boss? This might indicate that perhaps there was some sort of problem between those relationships or perhaps even something more sinister going on behind closed doors…
