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limerence affair

Last Updated on April 4, 2023 by Sarah Smith

Table of Contents

What is a limerence affair?

Limerence affair is a type of obsessive love that can be both a powerful and painful experience. It’s also known as an “affair of the heart” or “love affair.” We all fall in love with someone from time to time, but limerence is different because it involves intense feelings for one person who may or may not return those feelings.

Limerence is a strong emotional connection with an object of affection.

Limerence is a strong emotional connection with an object of affection. It’s not the same as love and can be good, bad, and dangerous. If you’re in limerence (or if you know someone who is), here are some things to keep in mind:

  • You may find yourself feeling jealous of your partner when they’re with other people.
  • Your partner might seem more attractive/attractive than before because they look better/looked better on paper (i.e., how they appeared in photos).
  • You might get angry at them for hanging out with other people or doing things that don’t involve you two together (like going out drinking).  This anger may make it difficult for both parties involved to stay calm around each other!

Limerence can be described as a combination of infatuation, obsession, and romantic love.

Limerence is a strong emotional connection with an object of affection. It’s a combination of infatuation, obsession, and romantic love.

Limerence can also be described as a feeling of euphoria or blissful state caused by limerent feelings towards someone/something that is not reciprocated

Limerence can be difficult to distinguish from another crush or a healthy relationship.

Limerence can be difficult to distinguish from another crush, as it is often mistaken for a healthy relationship. A limerent feels a strong desire to be with the other person and will do whatever it takes to be with them in any capacity. However, limerence differs from other crushes because reciprocity doesn’t exist between the two people involved; limerence is more like obsession than infatuation.

In contrast with this, if you have what could be called an “abnormal attraction” (and we don’t mean abnormal in that sense), then your feelings are not reciprocated at all—even if there are other factors present that might make someone think otherwise! For example, You’re attracted to someone who doesn’t seem interested in being with you romantically but whom you still find attractive on some level, or perhaps your friend seems interested romantically but keeps giving excuses why she can’t see you anymore—in either case, these scenarios don’t fit into our definition because they involve something more than just feeling “attracted” towards someone else during those times when one would normally feel romantic attractions

It takes 6-18 months for the limerence to fade in most cases.

Limerence can last anywhere from 6 to 18 months. If you’re in a relationship, it’s likely that your limerent feelings will fade quickly. However, if the limerent is married or unmarried and they have a stable relationship with their partner, they may continue feeling this way for years or even decades before it fades entirely. A relationship is not necessarily required for limerence; in fact, many people who are married still experience intense romantic love over time!

Limerence is involuntary and uncontrollable, but you can work on taking back control.

You can’t control the feelings, but you can control how you act on them. This is a simple fact that many people overlook. If you’re in a limerence affair, it’s important to keep this in mind: your actions will determine the course of your relationship and its outcome.

As with any other type of action (or inaction), there are two ways of acting: positively or negatively. If we choose our responses wisely and positively, then positive results follow! For example: If I am in a limerence affair with someone who has been unfaithful to me—and I react by forgiving him/her and moving forward together as best friends despite what happened—then my life will be much happier than if he/she had given me no choice but to abandon him/her forever because they were indeed unfaithful (i.e., cheating).

Limerence is hard to control, but you can manage the circumstances that encourage it.

Limerence is a difficult emotion to control, but you can manage the circumstances that encourage it.

  • Change your environment. If the limerence is triggered by an event and you have time to change the setting for your next date with your crush, do so! Go somewhere new or try another activity altogether so that limerence does not have as much of an impact on you.
  • Change your routine. If limerence is triggered by something like going out for coffee every day at exactly 5:00 pm on Tuesday afternoon with my crush, then I would suggest changing my routine to something else—maybe doing something different instead of sitting at home all day waiting for him/her (like reading!). This will help prevent me from being stuck in a rut and feeling like nothing ever changes around me no matter how hard I try!

Reading suggestion : “What Are You Looking for in a Relationship?” Is a Test – How Should You Respond?

Is an affair always limerence?

In the early stages of a limerence affair, you will feel like you’re in love. You’ll think about your partner all day long and dream about them at night. You might even have sex with them! But this isn’t real love—it’s not reciprocated by your partner (not yet), and it’s not healthy for either person involved.

The best way to avoid an affair is by understanding that limerence is a strong emotional connection with an object of affection that can involve physical attraction as well as a mental obsession with someone who doesn’t return those feelings back upon themselves because they’re not interested in being with anyone else besides their current romantic partner(s).

Reading Suggestion : Gut feeling someone is attracted to you (9 Signs it’s true)

Can a marriage survive limerence?

If you’re in a limerence affair, it’s important to keep in mind that the relationship will take work. You will have to be honest with yourself and your partner about what’s going on and how much time you can spend together. You may also have to make some changes in order for the marriage to survive, such as changing how often you see each other or moving out of town.

Limerence Affair

How do you end a limerent affair?

  • How do you end a limerent affair?
  • How do you end a limerent affair with a friend?
  • How do you end a limerent affair with a co-worker?
  • How do you end a limerent affair with a classmate?
  • And how do we get rid of the person who wants to be friends with us now that they know what we’ve been up to?

Limerence is a state of intense obsession with someone. It’s unlike any other form of love because it can last for months, even years at a time. Limerence is often confused with love because people who have experienced this feeling in the past feel as if they have loved their partner more than anything else in the world. However, this isn’t true there is no such thing as limerence being more “special” than real love!

You will likely have to do whatever it takes to get out of this situation.

You will likely have to do whatever it takes to get out of this situation. This may mean breaking up with your spouse and ending the limerence affair. It also could mean seeking professional help from a counselor or therapist who can help you sort out your feelings and figure out how you can move on from this experience without feeling bitter about yourself or others around you.

See a therapist.

Therapy is one of the most helpful ways to end limerence. It can help you understand what’s going on in your head and how it’s affecting you, which will give you the tools necessary to deal with it.

Therapy is also an opportunity for people who are in relationships with limerent’s to get professional assistance from someone who has been through similar experiences before. This can be incredibly helpful—but remember that therapy isn’t about changing yourself or making decisions for yourself; rather, it’s about being able to process emotions and learn new skills so that we’re better able to handle stressful situations in our lives (like when someone loves us).

Limit contact to as little as possible.

The key to ending an affair is to limit contact with your limerent partner as much as possible. Don’t go to the same places, don’t talk on the phone or online, don’t answer their texts and emails, and don’t accept their invitations for coffee or lunch. If they try to contact you outside of those safe zones (such as at work), don’t respond by calling them back unless it’s absolutely necessary for professional reasons.

This will make it clear that you’re moving on from the relationship—and if they’re still interested in pursuing it further after this period of non-communication, then maybe they weren’t ever really in love with us anyway!

Find a new interest or hobby.

  • Find a new interest or hobby.
  • Focus on something that is not related to the limerent object.
  • Find a new friend who can help you through this difficult time of recovery.

Don’t go looking for answers-you won’t find any.

The first thing to realize is that you can’t do anything about it. You’re not going to find an answer in a book or on the internet; there’s no one who knows the truth of what happened between you and your limerent ex-lover, so even if they did know, they wouldn’t be able to tell you.

In fact, most people have probably already tried all of these things at some point or another: looking for answers; understanding it; fixing it; changing it—and they’ve never succeeded. And why should they? Because these things just don’t exist!

Get advice from friends and family members who can help you see reality clearly.

You may need to get advice from friends and family members who can help you see reality clearly.

They can help you see the situation from a different perspective, which will give you perspective on what’s really happening here. They’ll also be able to see things in proportion and not just through your own lens. If they notice that something seems off or crazy, they’ll be able to tell you so without making it seem like they’re picking sides or taking sides against you (which would only make things worse). When someone gives their opinion about an issue where both parties have valid points of view, it allows each person to weigh those arguments against one another more objectively than if there were no outside voices involved at all—and those outside voices could even come from those closest to us!

Decide whether or not you want to continue the relationship with your spouse-it’s okay if you don’t.

You can decide to leave the relationship.

There is no shame in leaving a relationship that does not work for you. If your husband or wife is unable to meet your needs, it’s important, to be honest with yourself about what you want and need from a relationship. It may be time for both of you to move on in different directions.

Don’t blame yourself for this.

Don’t blame yourself for this situation. It’s not your fault that you’re limerent, and it’s not your fault that the other person is limerent either. You can’t control how they feel or what they do, so don’t make any excuses on those counts. The only thing you can do is try to understand why they did what they did, because there might be some deeper issues at play here—or maybe even nothing at all!

It doesn’t matter if the other person broke up with you because of their feelings for someone else (or vice versa); as long as both people are happy now—and willing to try again later on down the road if need be—then there shouldn’t really be anything else left over from the relationship anyway.*

Remember that limerence is an intense, albeit temporary, state that is not love.

When you’re in limerence, it’s easy to think that your feelings are more than just a passing fancy. The intensity of limerence makes us believe that we can’t live without the person we’re in love with and even if they don’t reciprocate our feelings, we still want them back as soon as possible. But remember: limerence is an intense state of being—it doesn’t mean forever!

If you feel like it’s time to break up with your lover but aren’t sure what to do next or how exactly you’ll go about doing it (or even if there even needs to be the next step at all), here are some ideas for ending an affair:

limerence is not love and does not have to be permanent

Love is a feeling. Limerence is not Love.

Limerence is an intense state that can last for months, even years. It may be hard to believe now, but limerence does not necessarily mean you’ll love the same person forever or even very long after the initial phase of limerent passion has passed. In fact, most people who experience this kind of intense infatuation don’t think so much beyond their own desires during those days and weeks when they’re feeling particularly giddy: “I want him/her so much!”

This doesn’t mean that limerence isn’t real; it just means that the feelings aren’t necessarily primal ones like those we associate with love at first sight (or lust). Instead of being based on sexual attraction alone—and therefore potentially leading down paths where things become complicated—limerent feelings tend towards becoming romantic connections over time instead; after all, how many times have we heard someone say something along these lines: “You know what? We were just friends at first but then…we fell in love”? This can happen even if both parties involved don’t realize how far away from being true mates these relationships actually are until later on down the road when one partner realizes things weren’t quite right yet despite all evidence pointing otherwise (which usually happens).

What mental illness causes limerence?

Limerence is a mental illness that causes a person to have unrealistic or excessive feelings for someone else, who may not reciprocate those feelings. It’s not just about sex, it can be about any kind of relationship — with friends, family members, and even pets.

According to the DSM-V (the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), limerence includes 2 different types:

  • Love addiction: This is when you’re addicted to the feeling of being in love. You feel like your life depends on getting married or falling in love again because without it there’s no point in living anymore. You’ll do anything for this person (like stalking them online) but ultimately won’t be able to cope with any rejection if they break up with you first!
  • Sexual addiction: Some people are sexually attracted only towards one gender while others feel this way regardless of which gender they target; either way they’ll always try their best at hooking up whether physically impossible due to lack of self-control issues/fearlessness etc…(but most likely won’t succeed). They might think about cheating but never actually follow through on such thoughts until months go by without getting laid again…and then suddenly start getting hitched immediately after realizing how desperate he/she really was all along! Just kidding! But seriously though – these kinds need help too!

How do I deal with a partner in limerence?

If you are in a limerent relationship, you cannot control your partner’s feelings. You might be able to accept them and try to understand where they came from, but it is still hard for most people to do so. If your partner has limerence for another person, this could lead them into acting out in ways that aren’t healthy for anyone involved.

You can try being supportive and understanding of their feelings by offering advice or guidance on how best to handle the situation: “I’m sorry if I said something wrong,” or “I wish there was something else I could do.” It may help if you mention that although there may be times when things seem hopelessly out of control (and maybe even terrifying), there will come an end point where everything will be back under control again: “I realize now how important your wishes are; please know that at some point in time we’ll all get through this together.”

You should also try being patient with yourself while waiting out the duration of limerence—this means not taking rash actions such as leaving home or making drastic changes in the lifestyle just because things feel bad right now.”


We hope that you can use this information to help you end your limerence. It is important for us to remember that we are not alone in our feelings of hopelessness and despair. There are many people out there who have gone through similar experiences and have come out on the other side stronger, wiser, and more able to deal with their feelings. If you feel like giving up or giving into the situation just because it seems impossible, remember that you’re not alone!

We hope this information has been helpful to you, and we encourage anyone who is struggling with limerence to seek help. It is never too late to stop an affair or deal with the trauma that caused it. Sometimes, though, it’s not enough just to accept responsibility for your actions. You need someone who can give you the structure you need so that you can heal from this experience and move forward in life without feeling like a victim of circumstance again. So, if there are any questions or concerns about how these events may affect future decisions made by yourself or others (especially those close), please contact your counsellor/ therapist ASAP.


Is Limerence Toxic?

Limerence is a toxic relationship if you don’t get the love that you deserve. If your partner doesn’t reciprocate, limerence will become toxic for both of you.
If your partner does reciprocate, then limerence can be beneficial and healthy in a long-term relationship. It’s important to understand that limerence is more likely to become destructive when there isn’t reciprocation because then it becomes an obsession that takes over your life without giving back anything in return.

Does no contact work on limerence?

No contact doesn’t work on limerence. You need to be in touch with the person you’re limerent for, talk about your relationship and know how they feel. You also want to know what they want from you and their expectations of the relationship. This is all part of getting over a limerence affair!

How can you tell if someone is limerent?

●   Look for signs of limerence in their behavior.
●   Look for signs of limerence in their appearance.
●   Look for signs of limerence in their speech.
●   Look for signs of limerence in their thoughts, dreams, or plans for the future (as well as what they say).

Why do people develop limerence?

Limerence is a learned behavior, but can also be a coping mechanism. It’s important to understand that limerence isn’t necessarily harmful or even necessarily bad. In fact, some studies have shown that limerents are generally happy after their relationship has ended (though they may still feel sad).
Limerence can be a way to deal with loneliness and stress: If you’re feeling lonely or stressed out often, then it might be because of something else going on in your life besides your relationship—for example, maybe you just moved into a new apartment and don’t know anyone yet!

Can limerence turn true love?

Limerence can turn into a healthy relationship. It’s possible for limerence to become a deep love, and it might be the catalyst for change in your life.
Limerence can also be a stepping stone to true love. If you have been limerent toward someone who doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, try not to take it too personally—it may just be that they aren’t interested in being with someone like me!
Limerence should never be confused with infatuation or lust; these are all forms of superficial attractions that do not require a long-term commitment or emotional intimacy (although some people hold on tightly).

Can limerence turn into a healthy relationship?

While limerence is a strong emotional connection with an object of affection, it can also be described as a combination of infatuation, obsession, and romantic love. It’s involuntary and uncontrollable, but you can work on taking back control of your emotions by practicing mindfulness skills like breathing deeply and focusing on something else during this period.
Limerence affairs are not healthy long-term relationships because they’re based on fantasy rather than reality. But if you make sure that your limerent feelings are expressed in ways that don’t hurt anyone else—and make sure there’s no chance for intimacy before moving forward—then maybe someday (maybe) all this will become something more positive.

What kind of trauma causes limerence?

Limerence can be caused by a traumatic event or an unhealthy relationship, but it’s also possible to develop limerence after being in a toxic situation for a long time. It may also be related to your lack of intimacy with other people and/or healthy relationships. For example, if you’ve been hurt by someone who has betrayed your trust in them, this could cause limerence because it makes you feel unsafe around others (and thus vulnerable). If this happens often enough over time, then the “love” will fade away as well—which is why it’s important not only for yourself but also for those close to you not to get too caught up in these kinds of experiences!
Limerence is also associated with low self-esteem and confidence levels within oneself; both involve feeling unworthy.

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