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Sexually Broken: Healing and Reclaiming Your Sexual Identity

Sexually Broken

Last Updated on March 16, 2023 by Sarah Smith

Sexually Broken: Healing and Reclaiming Your Sexual Identity

Sexual brokenness is a term that describes the feeling of being incomplete or defective in one’s sexuality. It’s a common feeling that can be brought on by a variety of different factors. If you’re struggling with feelings of sexual brokenness, you’re not alone. In this blog post, we’ll explore what it means to feel sexually broken, common reasons why someone might feel this way, the impact it can have on a person, and some ways to address these feelings.

Defining “Sexually Broken”

The term “sexually broken” is not an official medical or psychological diagnosis, but rather a term that people use to describe themselves when they feel inadequate or incomplete in their sexual experiences. It’s often used to describe feelings of shame or guilt related to one’s sexuality, as well as struggles with sexual functioning, addiction, and other issues.

The Origin of the Term

The term “sexually broken” originated from BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism) community, where it is used to describe a submissive person who has been trained to enjoy sexual submission so much that they cannot enjoy sex without it. However, the term has since expanded to describe a broader range of sexual experiences and feelings.

Reasons Why Someone Might Feel Sexually Broken

There are many reasons why someone might feel sexually broken. Here are some of the most common:

Trauma or Abuse

Experiencing sexual trauma or abuse can leave a lasting impact on a person’s sexuality. Survivors of sexual assault may feel shame, guilt, and confusion about their sexuality, as well as struggle with intimacy and trust. Trauma can also cause sexual dysfunctions like vaginismus, painful sex, and erectile dysfunction.

Shame or Guilt

Societal and cultural attitudes about sex can lead to feelings of shame and guilt about one’s sexuality. This is especially true for individuals who have been taught that sex is dirty, sinful, or only meant for procreation. Shame and guilt can also stem from religious or moral beliefs, as well as from negative experiences or judgments from others.

Sexual Dysfunction

Sexual dysfunction is another common cause of feeling sexually broken. This can include difficulty with arousal, orgasm, or maintaining an erection. Sexual dysfunctions can be caused by physical or psychological factors, including anxiety, depression, medication side effects, and hormonal imbalances.

Compulsive or Addictive Sexual Behaviors

Some people may feel sexually broken due to compulsive or addictive sexual behaviors, such as pornography addiction or sex addiction. These behaviors can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and lack of control over one’s sexuality.

The Impact of Feeling Sexually Broken

Feeling sexually broken can have a profound impact on a person’s mental health, physical health, and relationships. Here are some of the most common consequences:

Emotional and Psychological Consequences

Feeling sexually broken can cause a range of emotional and psychological consequences. This can include depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, difficulty forming intimate relationships, and a general sense of feeling “stuck” or unfulfilled in one’s life.

Physical Consequences

Feeling sexually broken can also lead to physical consequences. This can include sexual dysfunction, chronic pain, and other health problems like UTIs or STIs.

Social Consequences

Feeling sexually broken can also have social consequences. Some people may feel isolated or ostracized from their peers, while others may face stigma or discrimination for their sexual experiences or desires.

Addressing Feelings of Sexual Brokenness

If you’re struggling with feelings of sexual brokenness, there are ways to address these feelings and move towards healing. Here are some strategies:

Seek Professional Help

Talking to a therapist or counselor can be a powerful way to address feelings of sexual brokenness. A trained professional can help you explore the root causes of your feelings, develop healthy coping strategies, and work towards healing and acceptance.

Support Groups

Joining a support group can also be a helpful way to connect with others who are going through similar experiences. This can provide a sense of community and validation, and help to reduce feelings of isolation or shame.

Medical Treatment

If your feelings of sexual brokenness are related to physical issues, medical treatment may be necessary. This can include medications, surgery, or physical therapy. Your healthcare provider can help you explore treatment options and develop a plan that works for you.

Explore Your Sexuality

Exploring your sexuality in a safe and consensual way can be an empowering way to reclaim your sexual identity. This can include trying new things, experimenting with different sexual experiences or fantasies, and learning about your own desires and boundaries.

Self-Compassion and Acceptance

Developing self-compassion and acceptance can be a powerful way to combat feelings of shame or inadequacy related to your sexuality. This can include practicing self-care, learning to forgive yourself for past mistakes, and focusing on your positive qualities and strengths.


Feeling sexually broken is a common experience, but it doesn’t have to define your life. By seeking professional help, joining a support group, exploring your sexuality, and developing self-compassion and acceptance, you can start to heal from your feelings and move towards a more fulfilling and positive relationship with your sexuality. Remember that you are not alone, and that there is hope for healing and growth.

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Join the Conversation

We hope this blog post on feeling sexually broken has been helpful for you. We would love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this topic. Have you ever felt sexually broken? What strategies have you found helpful in healing and moving forward? Do you have any advice for others who may be struggling with similar feelings?

Please share your thoughts in the comments section below. Let’s continue this important conversation and support each other in our journeys towards healing and acceptance.

People Also Ask

What causes feelings of sexual brokenness?

There can be many factors that contribute to feeling sexually broken, including trauma, negative experiences, cultural or religious beliefs, physical issues, and mental health conditions.

Is feeling sexually broken a permanent condition?

No, feeling sexually broken is not a permanent condition. With the right support and treatment, individuals can heal from their feelings and develop a positive relationship with their sexuality.

Should I feel ashamed or guilty for feeling sexually broken?

No, it’s important to remember that feeling sexually broken is a common experience and you should not feel ashamed or guilty. It’s important to seek professional help and support to work through these feelings.

Can exploring my sexuality help me heal from feelings of sexual brokenness?

Yes, exploring your sexuality in a safe and consensual way can be an empowering way to reclaim your sexual identity and can be a helpful part of the healing process.

Is it necessary to seek professional help for feelings of sexual brokenness?

It’s recommended to seek professional help for feelings of sexual brokenness, especially if they are causing significant distress or impacting your daily life. A mental health professional can help you explore the root causes of your feelings, develop coping strategies, and work towards healing and acceptance.

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