Last Updated on December 5, 2022 by Sarah Smith

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21 signs he thinks you’re not good enough for him

If you’ve been dating someone for a while, and are starting to feel like you’re not good enough for them — or worse, that they don’t think so either — it’s time to take action. You might have some feelings of insecurity about this person in your life, but there are things that can be done about them. Here are 21+ signs he thinks you’re not good enough for him:

He doesn’t really want to spend time with you

He’s always busy with work
He has an excuse for not being able to make plans
He doesn’t want to see you or spend time with you

He’s not interested in your friends and family

If your guy is not interested in your friends and family, it’s a sign that he doesn’t want to be with you.

If he doesn’t care about them, then why would he care about you? It’s simple: if he doesn’t care about YOUR LIFE—and by extension, who you are and what makes up YOUR WHOLE LIFE—then why should I?

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He doesn’t put any effort into how he looks around you

If your partner never takes care of his appearance, it’s because he doesn’t think you care.
He doesn’t shower and brush his teeth regularly or clean his clothes or house.
He is not interested in looking good around you—and this shows in both small ways (like wearing wrinkled shirts) and large ones (like not caring about cleaning up after himself).

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He won’t introduce you to anyone he knows

You’re not good enough for him. He won’t introduce you to anyone he knows, because he’s ashamed of your existence. He wants to keep his friends out of it as much as possible, and if they don’t know about you yet—and if they do—you’ll be left out in the cold with no one else to talk about but him.

If this sounds like something that’s happening in real life (or at least on TV), then congratulations! You’re now aware of what a creeper feels like when he tries to hide from his friends how much time he spends with someone new: “OH MY GOD HE’S GONNA GET MARRIED!”

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He doesn’t call – or vice versa

If he doesn’t call you back, it could mean one of two things. He either doesn’t think you are worth his time and attention, or he is just busy with his own life and plans. Either way, this means that he does not see you as being worthy enough for him to prioritize your calls or texts.

If your partner does not text or call when he has the chance (or vice versa), this is also a sign that they do not value their relationship or want more from it than what they have now.

He thinks even mediocre sex is the best thing ever

He thinks even mediocre sex is the best thing ever.
He doesn’t care about your pleasure or health.
He thinks it’s just for fun and that you’re not good enough for him, so why should he?
He doesn’t want to hear about what makes you happy, needs or desires.”

His compliments are rare and awkward

He doesn’t compliment you on your appearance.
He compliments you on your intelligence or personality.
He compliments something that you’ve done, not something about who you are as a person.
He’s never been able to find anything nice to say about himself, so don’t expect him to start now!

He isn’t interested in anything about your past

If you’ve been dating a guy for a while and he still doesn’t seem interested in your past, it could be because he hasn’t asked you about it. You might think this is just common courtesy, but most people want to know as much about their partner as possible before they commit to each other.

If your boyfriend or husband really wants to get to know what makes you tick, then by all means ask! He may not have any interest in these things at first but if he really cares about getting married one day (and therefore having children), then there’s no point in keeping them hidden away forever.

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You’re his best friend, but nobody else is

If your boyfriend can’t have a best friend because he doesn’t have enough money or time for one, it’s not because he doesn’t want to share you with anyone else. It’s more likely that he has other things on his mind—like getting caught cheating and disowned by his family—that makes having another person in the picture less appealing than just having those feelings alone.

He only appears when it’s convenient for him

If your boyfriend or husband only appears when it’s convenient for him, then he doesn’t want to spend time with you. He only wants to see you when it’s convenient for him and not because he cares about you or anything else. If this is the case, then there’s a good chance that he thinks that no matter how hard he tries to make things work in their relationship—he’ll never measure up!

This can be an indicator of insecurity on his part because if someone else were acting like this toward me (or anyone else), then I would think differently about them as well as myself (and maybe even question whether we should continue our relationship).

Everything seems one-sided with him

He doesn’t ask how your day was.
He doesn’t ask what you’re interested in.
He doesn’t ask about your goals or dreams, or even what you want to do with your life.
You don’t feel like he values the things that are important to you and makes time for them (e.g., family, friends).

It’s always Netflix and chill. if that. No dates.

There’s a reason why Netflix and chill is a euphemism for hooking up: it’s because sex isn’t always the end goal. If you’re going out with him, then he must really like you. He’s not going to want to see your face every night at home, so he won’t have any space in his schedule for dates.

Dating is important in relationships because it gives both parties time to get to know each other better, but also because it serves as an opportunity for one or both of them to show that they care about the other person by taking their hand on what could otherwise be considered an acquaintanceship level (or worse).

His idea of a date is to take out from the pizza place down the street.

If he’s not willing to spend money on you, it’s likely that he doesn’t think of you as a priority. This can make him seem like a guy who only dates for the fun of it and doesn’t care about the relationship itself. It might also be because he wants something from his partner—like sex or companionship—and isn’t interested in having those things if they’re coming from someone else (or even himself).

If this is true, then there’s no point in continuing down this path with him anyways: there are plenty of other people out there who would love nothing more than to take care of your needs!

There’s no future talk. Ever.

If you’re with a guy and he doesn’t talk about the future, or what he wants out of life, it’s time to move on.

He doesn’t ask about your dreams and goals.
He doesn’t ask about your family or friends (or even acknowledge them).
He doesn’t ask about your past—or even seem interested in hearing about it!

Men who do this are insecure about themselves too, so don’t beat yourself up over it!

Don’t take it personally. If he thinks you’re not good enough, that’s because he doesn’t think you are. It doesn’t mean that he is trying to make you feel bad in any way—he just wants to protect himself from getting hurt again.
Don’t beat yourself up over it! It’s no one else’s fault but his own if your relationship ends in heartbreak or disappointment due to this insecurity of yours (and when was the last time someone did something because they were insecure?).
Don’t try changing him; this isn’t going anywhere good for either party involved.
Don’t try making him see things your way or convincing him otherwise.

He’s not excited to introduce you to his friends or family.

If he’s not excited to introduce you to his friends or family, it’s a sign that he doesn’t think you’re good enough for him.

He won’t be enthusiastic about spending time with you.

He won’t be interested in your friends and family.

He doesn’t put any effort into how he looks around you.

He’s on his phone a lot when you’re together.

He’s on his phone a lot when you’re together.
It could be because he’s texting other girls, checking social media, and playing games. But most likely it’s because he’d rather do anything but be with you and hear your voice!
If he starts looking at his phone while talking to you, it means that he thinks about breaking up with you or leaving without saying goodbye first (and possibly even both).

He makes things seem like they’re your fault.

You may be wondering: How can he blame you for something that isn’t your fault? The answer is simple—he makes it seem like everything you do is wrong. He always has an excuse for why he did something or said something, and it’s usually not really about what he did at all. If a friend of yours asks why she shouldn’t go out with your boyfriend because he’s mean, then all of a sudden his actions start making sense when they’re seen through the lens of how your relationship works together (and more importantly, how it doesn’t).

This is usually done by blaming women in general for being too independent and making men feel bad about themselves. It’s easy to see how this can be problematic if someone has never been given the full story before getting into any kind of romantic relationship; however, once someone knows better than others about their own situation, then suddenly everyone else becomes expendable—even those closest friends who have known each other since childhood!

He doesn’t want to know what you think or feels about anything.

One sign that he doesn’t care about what you think or feel is when he doesn’t ask about your day. If you tell him something happened at work and then he never asks about it again, this could be an indication that he doesn’t care about what’s going on in your life.

Another sign of this lack of interest is when a partner won’t ask how their partner is doing because they don’t want to hear any problems from them—they just want them gone! Another way to tell if this person wants out of the relationship is if they never seem interested in hearing about anything important happening within your world; instead, they prefer listening to music or watching television shows together while ignoring each other entirely.

He only talks about himself when you’re together.

If your partner doesn’t ask about you, he’s not interested in knowing anything about you. He doesn’t want to know what you do or whom you hang out with, he just wants to tell him that he has an amazing life because of him. He also might be lying and telling himself that everything is going well when it’s actually falling apart around his head.

He won’t want to hear about how stressed out she was last week because she had a bad day at work or how much fun she had at home on Saturday afternoon with her family and friends before heading back to work again this morning (and then having another bad day).

You can’t seem to make him laugh.

If he doesn’t laugh at your jokes and he seems to find them unamusing, it’s time to reconsider the relationship. If he can’t appreciate your sense of humor, then there’s no point in trying to build anything else on top of that foundation. He needs to enjoy being around you so much that he finds it important enough for both parties’ well-being—and if not, then why should anyone else care?

If his response is “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” or if he says something along the lines of “That was funny,” but doesn’t seem genuinely amused by your antics (or even mildly amused), then this might be cause for concern as well: maybe there are other things going on with him that aren’t apparent from his outward appearance and demeanor.

He’s always canceling plans with you.

He’s always canceling plans with you.
He’s not interested in spending time with you, or your friends and family.
He doesn’t put any effort into how he looks around you.

His phone goes off a lot when you’re together, and he never has it out at other times.

If he checks his phone a lot when you’re together, and never has it out when you’re apart.
If he seems distracted by texts or other incoming calls during dates and conversations.
If he doesn’t look up from the screen often enough during conversations at all (or only after about five minutes).
If he is always looking down at his phone when talking with you but never pulls out his own device once in a while (and would rather check one than talk).

You don’t feel comfortable talking about much with him, because he doesn’t listen or ask good questions.

If your partner doesn’t ask questions that show he’s listening and cares about what you have to say, it’s time to move on. Here are some signs he thinks you’re not good enough for him:

He isn’t interested in what you have to say. Your partner might not want to talk about anything deeper than the weather or his favorite sports team, because he doesn’t think it matters. Or maybe he thinks that if he asks too much of your attention, then it means something else is wrong with him (which is true). Either way, this type of behavior shows that your man isn’t interested in connecting with you—or even just getting to know who “you” really are!

You realize that every time someone mentions any of your good qualities, he changes the subject.

When he talks about your accomplishments, he’ll often change the subject. If you mention that you got an A on a project at work or won a race in the park, he might be tempted to bring up something embarrassing about himself or his past.

If he wants to talk about how great it would be if only someone else could do better than him at something—like how great it would be if they had any more time on their hands than they do right now—it means that deep down inside, he doesn’t think you deserve anything good in life and therefore shouldn’t get what those people have worked so hard for!

When you talk about your dreams, the conversation always gets awkward — even though you have dreams and goals in common!

You might be thinking: “But I want to work on my dream career!” But if he doesn’t care about that, then what is he doing with his life? And why should we continue talking about it if our interests don’t align?

If this sounds like something that happens often in your relationship, then there’s a good chance that he thinks of himself as more important than anything else. And based on his actions (or lack thereof), it seems like he believes this too!

You feel like he’s just waiting for something better to come along, and that if it did, he’d drop you without hesitation.

He’s not interested in your life.
He’s not interested in you.
He’s not interested in your dreams and aspirations, or what you want to do together as a couple, or separately as individuals.

He can’t seem to say “I love you” or “I miss you,” even though months have gone by since the first date — and even though you’ve said it to him more than once already!

If you’re feeling like your sweetie doesn’t want to spend time with you, it’s probably because he thinks you’re not good enough for him. That’s right — the signs that he doesn’t think you’re “good enough” are all about how much time and attention he gives to other women.

If he can’t seem to say “I love you” or “I miss you,” even though months have gone by since the first date — and even though you’ve said it to him more than once already! — then there’s a chance that this guy is trying too hard not to hurt your feelings by pushing those words out of his mouth at all costs. And if he doesn’t ask about any of your goals and dreams, then chances are good that he’s afraid of having his ego bruised by someone who has something better than what they have going on in their lives right now (in other words: YOU).

Conclusion

I’ve been there, and I know how frustrating it can be. But remember what we learned earlier: you deserve someone who will put in the effort, who won’t give up on you when things get tough, and who wants to spend time with you — even if they don’t feel like they do! We also learned that the signs of a guy who doesn’t think he’s good enough for his girl come from insecurity about himself; this makes sense because if he really believed there was something wrong with him, then wouldn’t he have tried hard enough to fix it?

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